FINALLY I had a good day yesterday. Then again I also 'cheated' but I was ok with it and didn't stress about it.
I had a low-sugar green tea frapp with soy milk for lunch and nibbled on a brownie but that was IT! I was very proud of myself especially since I resisted a binge. I mean a possibility of over 2,000 cals kinda binge. I wanted to just go to a drive through and order tons of shit. Fries, milk shake, burger, chicken strips. the works. BUT I worked on my art journal instead and kept telling myself that I'd miss the best part of Project Runway(the runway part ob.)! It worked so well and I fell asleep early too so everything worked out. I'm going out to eat with friends later but we might go get sushi and I LOVE Sashimi and miso soup so I'll likely just get that. Getting my septum done today too. Whoop! Today is a good day!

Oh and also 151 is what the scale said this morning! Sure it's the same weight as Monday's but Shit I'm just glad I didn't gain this week! I might fast again this weekend.

Yesterday went alright I ate 600 cals which was 100 over my 500 cal limit but I needed something extra since I was studying and couldn't focus at all. My final is today and I am also fasting so I needed something in my system plus what I ate had a lot of fiber in it and I haven't had a good poo in a few days still (gross I know).

I maintained my weight but I am still certain that it's because I haven't pooed. Hoping with the combo of my fast today and the fiber from yesterday I will be able to get rid of the yuk.

This week has sucked and I've wanted to cut so bad but I haven't since I've got a year and a half of not cutting under my belt. I don't want to start up again now.

I'm also slowly building up my art book but I'm gunna go get more paints tonight so I quit using my expensive nice paints. I'll start posting my dailies once I get into a routine. :D

Stay strong Lovelies.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I do that? I was doing so god damn well!! I should have posted here before I binged. But I didn't and now I am suffering for it. I went back up to 153. Sure it could just be poo but it's fat fat fat to me. Today we are stripping everything that isn't getting painted in one of our theatres at work. I get out of class at 10 ish and will go straight there. I'll have to eat there with everyone but I might say I'm going to get a snow cone and just eat that. It's under 300 I think? Better than a sandwich, chips, cookies, brownies and stuff right? Why am I so fat!? God I hate my self...  might start posting pictures of myself to keep motivated... I doubt people want to see my lard though.

Yesterday I failed to finish the fast. I got really dizzy as though I was drunk so I drank some juice. That didn't help so I broke and had some Tofu and some okra. I felt so much better till about 4 hours later where I just started eating. I ate chicken and potatoes. I made it under 800 calories still and didn't gain anything from that morning so I maintained at 151 which is still disappointing but I suppose I have to live with it.

Today we watched 'Food Matters' in my nutrition class and it was all about how you can cure disease by the foods and vitamins that you consume. It's a good watch that I recommend.

Day one of my weekend fast went off without a hitch. Didn't even feel hungry! And guess what!? I'm less than a pound away from 150! Thank the lord!! that's 3 lbs in one day! I really understand why people crave on fasts but not the binging. I literally just wanted a bite of anything yesterday! Today I just want apple sauce. I don't like apple juice so that's out but I LOVE applesauce.
I'm also stripping out my old hair colour so that I can go platinum and possibly white. I'm so excited about it!!! I also just re cut my fringe I haven't had one in about two years because I'm growing my hair out but I think I prefer a little something interesting in the front.

Wish me luck on today! I'll probably need it! I swear all of the commercials on the TV talk about food.

I guess I forgot to post yesterday. yikes.
Anyways I had to eat lunch because my friend was sitting with me at in the union yesterday around lunch and bugged me about it AND it was Pie Day Friday which you can't not get a piece of pie which is ridiculous. The lady who makes them is super sweet and you really can't say no.
So my total for the day was just over 1000 cals. I mostly round up so It could have been less but who cares I ate too much still.
So I also created a diet yesterday that I'll be starting on Monday. It's on my diet page so check it out! This weekend though I am kicking things off with a good old fashioned fast since all I'm doing this weekend is cleaning my room and doing homework. Laaaame. Haha I know.
So far today I've raised my bed and cleared about 60% of the clothes and fabric off of my floor and it is looking great! Now I really need to tackle my desk.... It's like a craft room exploded on it.

... Then I fucked up.

I decided to cook. Bad idea. Baaaadd Idea. Needless to say I ended up binging(fuuuck)...
I had two handfuls of chips in RANCH. WTF is wrong with me? I'm lactose intolerant! As soon as I realized what I was doing I tossed the chips. They weren't even mine! They were my roommate's who went home for two weeks and left them. She said I could toss whatever goes bad or eat it if I want I should have just chucked it as soon as she left. I decided to toss all of the bad foods. I really only have veg and some chicken to eat now. That's not including my drinks Hazelnut milk, Oat milk(trying this soon), various tea's, coffee, Light Chocolate Soy milk(A treat), two 2litres of diet coke, one 2litre of diet dr.pepper, and 2litre of white Mt.Dew(if I need the energy).

I might do a review on the different types of milk I've drank. I think I've tried everything but Hemp milk.

Here's to tomorrow! -downs water-

.•*AN

My shoulder still hurts so I came home after class instead of going to work today. It hurts like hell.. The worst part is that it's my right arm so that makes EVERYTHING I do some degree of painful. I've mostly just been cleaning and watching TV so far today. I also nearly binged bot stopped myself short of it by juts making carrots. Luckily I don't have anything in the apartment that I could really binge on.

Lunch
- 3oz Chicken with hot sauce
- 1/2 cup Cucumber slices
-1TBS of Greek Vinaigrette
-2 Carrots

Not terribly much, but more than I'd usually have. I'm going out later to stock up on diet coke since I'm out. Probably part of my problem.

I'm so gross... I ate like a piggy at lunch. Thank goodness I skipped breakfast! I had a burger and waffle fries. Well I tried purging but that didn't happen because nothing came up and I was really upset but yea.. I got home after some errands and weighed myself. Same weight as this morning. I was so relieved. Not sure if I am going to eat dinner since it's after 7 now... I might just skip it and make a lunch to take tomorrow. I can't be eating like that. It's so gross. I can't stand it!! ugh.... Anyways... I just need to calm down and pull myself together. Tomorrow will be better. I'm almost to 150 again and the step after that is 140. Just breathe....

Last night I weighed myself before bed and I was 154.8 and I was pretty content with that I only had a net intake of about 250 kcals yesterday. Well I stepped on the scales this morning and pleased to see 153.6. Of course it's no where where I actually want to be back in November-February I was 147 and had gotten there healthily and had maintained that for a while. Got a boyfriend and just packed on the pounds. It was awful. Anyway I'm sans boyfriend now and it's fantastic I love being alone and only having to worry about me. FEMALE POWER!!

I hope today goes just as well as yesterday did but without me being super sleepy. That was awful.... I'll update later too. I might start uploading my art journal too. I'm just getting back into it so it's mostly just laying down paints right now.

Peace out.